Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Do vagina's smell?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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