Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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