we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just gargled with NyQuil
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
