Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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