youre lurking in front of me
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
