My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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