this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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