this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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