So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
