Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
