OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
