Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
