Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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