She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
