they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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