i wish peter jackson would direct porn
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We talked him into tasing himself.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
