So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
