She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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