i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
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