Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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