Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
