idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
