Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
