i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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