if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
