like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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