think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
