About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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