I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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