she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
