I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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