should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
