I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
