Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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