Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
