I wanna bring you to show and tell
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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