I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
