In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
