I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
