2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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