Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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