i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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