If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
