Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
