I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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