and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
