I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
