i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
