Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
