i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
