i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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